My darkest days-2014.09.13

I once knew a living angel. She is someone everyone wish to know. She was my mother Theresa, she was my guardian angel, she was my grandmother. At a very young age this living angel of mine took care of me with all her love. When I'm with her I could feel the happiness that fills me up, the love that had been showered upon me. I still remember the times I was there, she would always ask me 2 questions: 1. Who send you here? 2.Have you eaten? Are you hungry? 

Whenever I stay for dinner, she would always cooked dishes that I love. I still remember the last time I saw her, she was very ill. She had forgotten some family members of hers, she even forgotten how maybe children she have but she still remembered me. She still remembered to asked me that 2 questions that she always asked. I remember that day, even though she was very ill, she still wanted to go to the kitchen to cook for me. Her love is so wonderful, so magical, so lovely. It broke my heart when I saw her. She'd lost so much weight and she could no longer smile nor walk. She went through so much pain. That time I questioned: "She such a good person, why does she still have to go through so much suffering?" Till this day I still dont know the answer. On time she told me " If daddy or mummy don't want you, I want you. If anyone don't love you, I love you. And you are always my child"

On 2014.09.11- I happily told my father this: "Daddy, Sunday(14.04.2014) I would like to go see granny" and dad nodded. I patiently waited for that day to come in such gladness till I got a phone call the next morning say that grandma had passed. I felt my whole world fell on me. The pain is unstoppable. I did not have the chance to say goodbye to her or told her that I love her so much. for months my life became meaningless. Until today I still cry in my sleep at times. I could only talk to her photograph now. Wishing that she could hear me saying how much I miss her and love her. She had taught me to love and be kind. She had let me know what it feels like to be happy. 

What change is my thinking. I still cry that is true but I go on with life because I believe that she wants me to. I believe that she wants me to be happy and I believe that she is now in a better place. I believe that she never left. She is always in my mind and heart.

R.I.P granny. You will forever be love and miss.

*This story is for those who had lost their loved ones just like me on the way of life. I hope it helps to console you guys a little. Xoxo